Words

Words

Quiet But Effective

eating my way through distractions broken past failed returns
a small wronged sense, undecided brilliant to see and hide
forced, lost, crept into silence last left felt, unclothed
fairly inept, unassumed quiet, effective, I cried
splintered wood pulling chords (w/ background vocals)
eaten broken, splintered quiet, effective, I cried
bleached and summer to start forty four and so on
plus after drinks
now no more replaced with corn almost there but not such yet
a piped return, twice lost, first told boardroom mirth, ninth let down (w/ background vocals)
and then

hate, soothing and rich
hot to end and then
first to last, built to form
fill to body, catching scent

and then

uglier with every word spoken
losing self to higher thieves
steel red, fallen shelf
unheard wails to wide fresh space

and then to fill

matzoh fish hello
choral reef, ashen wrist
fall to Guelph on bitter snow
wide but then again no

and then

sullen facts, gash to feel
ashen snow, fallen reef
catching scent and then
matzoh fish and then
fall to Guelph and then

and then and then

uglier with every word spoken
losing self to higher thieves
steel red, fallen shelf
unheard wails to wide fresh space

matzoh fish hello
choral reef, ashen wrist
fall to Guelph on bitter snow
wide but then again no

and then
Nobbylocks

11-years old
I'm in a playground with other boys
crying and crying
at the wall
being squeezed out of a tube
I see myself coming out
dec. 24th, 1994
things I cannot explain
beat the limits right out of me
I don't care
Stevie Wonder embraced me
held both of my arms and whispered tenderly to me
quiet and beautiful
edge of the Grand Canyon
a sunrise at 5pm
completely surrounded by fifty elk
drinking loose earl grey tea, a chocolate and 
cheese muffin
gasoline
scattered symbols, coloured
blood
4
set
isolated thought
noise
the smack of a hand
rushing trains
hazy drawing reality
stuck in my head
I see a room from two opposite views
candles test my fear
sitting on the floor of my closet
stuff falling on me
sinking to the bottom
waiting for someone to hear me
to come and help me
woke up mom
stuff on the porch
not laid down
before I was born
feeling nothing
darkness
silence

The Rut Overtakes

Suddenly so steep.
Making choices on the way that speak only to my weakness.

The rut overtakes.
Rational thought.
Left with so many options.
We seem only to choose the worst for small wrong blamed.
For so much.

Tiny breadcrumbs never followed.
What is now has become the punishment for small errors and few opportunities.
Taken and run with.

The mistake I made only yesterday.
I forget the stolen moment
the pull that once seemed so strong.

As my courage increased, I’ve lost my sense of how it once was.
All the things that I fought for, now I could care even less.

I’ve lost my pettiness
and my sympathy for those that complain, with so much.

Once I felt as if I owned nothing real,
that I had done nothing and only struggled to stay alive.
Fat, wasted, lacking purpose and self,
but yet all the overwhelming beauty in the world.
Standing right beside me.